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narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

thescarletmama:

hellzabeth:

did-you-kno:

Source

LEMME TELL YOU BITCHES ABOUT MY GIRL CARMILLA

FOLKS FORGET ABOUT CARMILLA AND HER WONDERFUL LOVE STORY JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T GET AS MUCH PUBLICITY AS OL’ DRAC BUT SHE’S AWESOME

SHE DOESN’T BURN IN SUNLIGHT BUT DOES WEAKEN CONSIDERABLY TO THE POINT OF FAINTING AND NEVER WAKES UP BEFORE NOON (MY SPIRIT MONSTER IS CARMILLA YO) AND WHEN SHE FEEDS FROM LAURA IT’S ALWAYS FROM HER LEFT BREAST. THAT’S STRAIGHT UP VICTORIAN EROTICA YO. SHE CAN TRANSFORM INTO A CAT AND INTO FOG, SIMILAR TO DRAC, AND HAS THIS LONG, BEAUTIFUL DARK HAIR.

YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE THING ONLINE IT’S OUT OF COPYRIGHT AND STUFF BUT HOLY SHIT A STORY ABOUT WOMEN IN THE 1800S THAT PASSES THE BECHDEL TEST WHAT????

GO. READ IT. IT’LL TAKE YOU BARELY AN HOUR AT MOST.

holy shit i am so reading this wtf

stopsjws:

maswartz:

xkanyeinterruptedmex:

my-chemical-homestuck:

explosives-b:

sozziesocks:

She’s fourteen, and she already feels like shit for being born white and cis.

Fuck tumblr.

this makes me sad more than anything. The fact that people feel guilty for existing is sad.

oh poor white cis people

grow the fuck up; this site is one of the only places where minorities can vent and stupid cis people are offended

just stop

No, here’s the fucking thing. This site isn’t for one group of people. It’s a fucking blogging site. For EVERYONE. You tell people not to be ashamed of what they fucking are, but only of its what you want? That’s pretty fucking disgusting. If you want equality, you don’t preach hate, because hate breeds more hate. That 14 year old isn’t your oppressor. She has done nothing wrong to be forced to hate herself, and to hate what she was born in. Grow the fuck up.

We live in a world where kids and teens literally kill themselves over online bulling. And you have the nerve to say they are not victims?

The double-standard on this website is fucking ridiculous. Nowhere, not a goddamn line, of the Tumblr Terms of Service, does it state that this website is only for ‘trans disabled robotkin glamdrogynous PoC’ or what have you. It’s a public website. A blogging website for EVERYONE. And you have the nerve to say shit like that. You’re just like everyone else, a special snowflake that uses Tumblr as an excuse to be racist, prejudicial shitlord. Just stop.

(Source: gotchipoints)

terrifiantus:

There have been a lot of urban legends over the years about people dying in seemingly impossible, mindblowing, and often silly ways but how many of them are true?

Halloween Hanging. The original story is that a person accidentally hangs themselves while attempting to turn themselves into a living Halloween decoration. Here’s the truth to the story. In 1990, a teenage boy named Brian Jewell accidentally hanged himself while working on a Halloween Hayride. As the stunt had worked with no problem in the nights before, only the tractor driver became concerned when Jewell did not give the speech he was supposed to give as they passed by. More recently, in September 2013, Jordan Morlan passed away when he accidentally hanged himself in his front yard in an attempt to frighten his sister. The noose had been hanging as a prop from a tree in the front yard, and Morlan had put it around his neck. Unfortunately, the innocent plan had gone awry when the noose became too tight and cut his brain off from oxygen after 20 seconds or so. His sister was the one to find him unconscious and although he was still alive when they finally we able to cut him down, he died 12 hours later at the hospital.

Killer Cactus. The original story goes that a man in Arizona had been out shooting signs with his shotgun when he decided to shoot the base of a large cactus. The cactus’ base became weak and it fell over, killing the man. The real story? in 1982, David Grundman and James Joseph Suchochi decided to wander into the desert, guns in hand. Something in them, most likely sheer boredom, compelled them to shoot at the cacti. Suchochi shot at the base of a small one and was delighted by the ease that it took to take the cactus down. Then, it was Grundman’s turn. He chose a much larger cactus, which was around 26 feet high and was estimated to be over 100 years old. He shot at the base. Before he had time to know what was happening, a four foot spiny arm, which was severed by the blast, fell into Grundman and crushed him to death.

Hell Springs. Rumor has said that a man attempting to rescue a dog from a hot spring was burned to death himself. This is completely true. In July of 1981, David Allen Kirwan, along with a friend and man’s best friend (named Moosie), were driving through Yellowstone Park’s Paint Pot. They parked their car and they were going to get out to get a better look at the hot springs when Moosie escaped from the car. He ran towards Celestine Pool, which is a thermal pool that is measured at over 200 degrees Fahrenheit. Moosie jumped in and began yelping. The two men rushed over to attempt to aid the poor pooch. Although bystanders warned Kirwan not to go in after the dog, the man took two steps into the pool and dived in head first. He swam out to the dog and then went under and attempted to swim out of the pool. His friend helped Kirwan out of the pool, which caused the friend second degree burns to his feet and ankles. Another tourist helped him to the sidewalk. Kirwan was completely blinded, and when someone tried to help him remove his wet, burned shoes, the skin of his feet came with them. His skin was peeling everywhere and he suffered 3rd degree burns over 100% of his body, including his head. He died the next day at the Salt Lake City Hospital. Unfortunately, as you probably guessed, Moosie didn’t make it.

All sources and more crazy deaths here.

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